Sometimes Jesus’ Love Throws Us for a Loop (A Second Look)

To one degree or another, we all do it. We may not want to admit it, but it’s true. If we’re not careful, we can tend toward placing self-informed expectations on Jesus’ love for us. We have an idea of what would be the best outcome to a conflict or the wisest solution to a problem and we label it with the love of Christ. But Jesus often does not meet our expectations, and sometimes it doesn’t even seem to make sense. So, what should we think and believe when Jesus’ love isn’t what we anticipated?

The story of Jesus raising Lazarus from death helps us answer this question. Back in 2021, I wrote a post for the CBCD on this narrative, but in preaching this text again recently, the Lord helped me see its application more deeply. Let’s take a second look.

After Lazarus’ sisters (Martha and Mary) send word to Jesus, telling Him that their brother is ill, Jesus does something surprising: “He stayed two days longer in the place where He was” (John 11:6). What’s going on here? Is Jesus indifferent to the crisis these sisters are facing? Does He not care about His friend, Lazarus? That can’t be the case… but then how are we to understand this strange choice in the face of such sorrowful news?

In John 11, taking verses 5 and 6 together points us in the right direction: “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was” (emphasis mine).

The word “So” at the beginning of verse 6 could just as easily be translated “Therefore.”¹ When you connect this with the reality that Jesus “loved” Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, then you must conclude that Jesus stayed put for two more days because of His love for this family. His love motivated His delay.

To many, this does not seem like love. This is not what we would’ve done upon hearing that a dear friend was ill. The text does not say, “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, He immediately dropped what He was doing and borrowed the nearest chariot to make haste to Bethany.” That’s what we might expect, but Jesus remains where He is… out of love. He could’ve even healed Lazarus with a word from a distance as He did for the official’s son in John 4:46-54, but He chose to stay.

Why? Why was it more loving to stay? A few verses in our context bring the answer into focus.

Verse 4: “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

Verses 14 and 15: “Then Jesus told [His disciples] plainly, ‘Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe.’”

If Jesus had prevented Lazarus from dying, or if He had arrived sooner, then His followers would not have witnessed the glory of His power over death. Since Jesus arrived after Lazarus had been in the tomb for “four days” (vv. 17 and 39), His miracle of raising Lazarus highlighted the truth of what Jesus told Martha earlier in the chapter: “I am the resurrection and the life” (v. 25). Because of His delay, Jesus stood before their eyes of faith as the one whose commanding voice was obeyed by Lazarus’ lifeless body. As the words “Lazarus, come out” sounded before the crowd, his “heart began to beat again, nerve impulses began to race throughout his body, and his rotting putrefying flesh became whole and healed.”²

So, the reason why Jesus’ surprising choice to stay was more loving, is because He was giving His friends what they needed most: Himself. They didn’t get what they hoped for, but they got what was most valuable: a clearer sight of their Savior.

When Jesus’ love isn’t what we anticipated, we may comfort ourselves by thinking, “That’s okay, He has something better for me.” Well, that is true, but usually what we mean by “better” is better circumstances. Certainly, in terms of circumstances, it would have been better for Lazarus not to die of illness, and Martha and Mary not to walk through the intense grief of losing their brother. The “better” that Jesus had in mind, however, was a deeper faith in Him. When Jesus’ love doesn’t meet your expectations, remember that comfortable circumstances are not His goal for our lives. It’s not that He doesn’t care about our heartache as we walk through trials. We know Jesus wept over the impact of Lazarus’ death (v. 35). But the greater priority is to see Him and believe in Him as He truly is. When His love doesn’t seem to make sense, we can trust that He is setting us up for this purpose.

¹ See D. A. Carson, The Gospel According to John, 407.

² R. C. Sproul, John: An Expositional Commentary, 211-212.